sarahallegra

Like A Storm

This is a big piece for me, not just size-wise, but for what it represents as well.

I shot this self portrait a week or two ago after...
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This is a big piece for me, not just size-wise, but for what it represents as well.

I shot this self portrait a week or two ago after enduring months of worse-than-usual depression. Some was due to outside influences, bad news, being sick and other things that any normal, healthy person would feel depressed about. But a lot of it was that irrational, heavy, demanding, life-draining depression that is clinical depression. This is not feeling sad about things that you should feel sad about. This is round-the-clock, punishing joylessness, sucking the beauty out of everything, leaving all around you colorless and meaningless. This is clinical depression.

I decided to start a series specifically addressing mental illness; clinical depression and anxiety in particular, since those are the two I fight with most. I manage them, sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. Sometimes I want to just die. I don't know if it will ever go away completely, thus the series title Eternal Storms. http:--www.sarahallegra.com-EternalStorms.html

I shot this self portrait as a way to work through the cloud I was under, but more importantly, to directly address depression and its stigma. Admitting you have or struggle with depression doesn't make you weak or unworthy. It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you're not trying hard enough, eating right or getting enough exercise. It just IS. And society needs to learn to stop judging those who do manage to ask for help.

The alternative is that we suffer in silence with our tormentor. And that can kill.

We are no less human that you. We did not ask for this fight. This is not an attention-seeking behavior. This is real, this illness is out for blood. This is just our fight. This matters. And it can be won.

One storm at a time.

This series is dedicated to all the others who fight this battle with me every day. You are all so strong and so brave. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Please see my blog for more about this image and my new series! https:--sarahallegra.wordpress.com-2015-08-06-eternal-storms-

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