kchurch

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I have BIG challenges in my life with mental health. My self portraits are few and far between, because they are the emotions I am that day. This day, I was fee...
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I have BIG challenges in my life with mental health. My self portraits are few and far between, because they are the emotions I am that day. This day, I was feeling like my cup wasn't as full of love as it needed to be, so I created an image that I thought would remind us all to pay attention to our cup, to take time to remind yourself you deserve to leave yourself love too. We don't always have to take of others, sometimes "The Heart Has It's Reasons." (book in photo) and sometimes we forget that we too matter, we too have a cup to remain full, and I wanted to capture the energy of the growth of love in this photo. I did't really plan it, I sat down, I pressed my self timer, and I captured a moment that inspired the composite that has become this photo.

I have struggled with mental health my whole life. I was abused, I was taught I am not worth more than taking care of others, and this photo, empowered me the moment it was complete. I look at it when I feel empty, and I remember WE ARE ALWAYS worth filling our cup. We come first and then everyone else. I still struggle with this, but this leave the love, image has created even something inside of me.

Thank you for having a look and reading.

I wish you a cup full of love, good energy, and peace.
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iPhone

Lethbridge, , CA

upload_date

Aug, 2019

Views

1625

Likes

+174

Awards

Zenith Award

Spring 21 Award

Legendary Award

Curator's Selection

9Teen Award

Contest Finalist in The Selfie Photo Contest 2019

Contest Finalist in Creative Visions Photo Contest

Peer Award

+377

Top Choice

Superb Composition

Outstanding Creativity

Absolute Masterpiece

All Star

Genius

Virtuoso

Emotions

Impressed

Relaxed

Upset

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Behind The Lens

Location

I took this in my living room in a chair we never use, I used mostly natural light coming in through the window.

Time

It was around 10 am, when the light shines particularly beautiful through the open windows.

Lighting

I made sure the chair was facing toward the window enough that I could capture some depth in the shadows. I placed a soft box with continuous light on a very low setting to ensure there were no shadows unwanted on the lit up side of my face. I feel that the sunlight would have been enough, however I am happy that I used the one soft box to ensure I got my results,

Equipment

I captured this with a sony A7, sony 50mm 1.8 lens, on manual focus, and a tripod.

Inspiration

I have BIG challenges in my life with mental health. My self portraits are few and far between, because they are the emotions I am that day. This day, I was feeling like my cup wasn't as full of love as it needed to be, so I created an image that I thought would remind us all to pay attention to our cup, to take time to remind yourself you deserve to leave yourself love too. We don't always have to take of others, sometimes "The Heart Has It's Reasons." (book in photo) and sometimes we forget that we too matter, we too have a cup to remain full, and I wanted to capture the energy of the growth of love in this photo. I did't really plan it, I sat down, I pressed my self timer, and I captured a moment that inspired the composite that has become this photo. I have struggled with mental health my whole life. I was abused, I was taught I am not worth more than taking care of others, and this photo, empowered me the moment it was complete. I look at it when I feel empty, and I remember WE ARE ALWAYS worth filling our cup. We come first and then everyone else. I still struggle with this, but this leave the love, image has created even something inside of me. This image, came to me, I did not truly plan it, I just knew what I needed, what this image needed to look like and express.

Editing

My processing consisted of starting in adobe camera raw editing, adjusting any exposure that will effect the entire picture, I then split tone, I went by feel, so I opted for leaving this shot just slightly under exposed for that part of the process. Once I am into the actual photoshop, I start to adjust certain portions of the image, I exposed the lighter side of my face just slightly. I used offset to give it a moody feel, and also used the colour balance tool to adjust my highlights and shadows, and some midtones. I then used stock photos that I typically save if I feel I will use them, I chose the tree with the hearts, I can't tell you why, it just fit, I erased the bottom part of the tree so it wasn't appearing as an overlay on the cup. I used the blue glow which was an overlay as well, and I used the same process erasing what I did not want in the image. It is worth mentioning I used the blending option "screen" for both embedded images. My workflow always consists on having a new layer for each of my image changes, just in case I decide I want to make a preset.

In my camera bag

I had a partner who shot sony, so he shared with me all his lenses which were vast. I currently made the decision to start shooting with only manual lenses and I absolutely love it! My recent photos are actually shot with a Laowa 100mm Macro. Now that I have started to grow my own collection as I split from my partner I have acquired what I can for now- I carry a flash, which I honestly hardly use, a diffuser that goes atop my flash, a spotlight (just a cheap dollar store one! the kit lens which I believe is 28-75mm, a 7artisans 55mm manual lens, a 35mm, manual as well, and a 25mm. I also carry my tripod with me, when possible as I have a mobility issue so sometimes I can't, and of course I carry my most favourite lens the 100mm Laowa. I also like to carry surprise bags for children for the end of the session because being a kid and sitting still is hard work, and it deserves a payment!

Feedback

Honestly, I am someone who is not confident in my abilities as a photographer, I always question if I am enough, but I am recently trying out new techniques always reviewing my photos, being okay with those ones that don't quite work. I am an emotional photographer, intuitive if you will, so I feel the energy and that is what I am trying to capture, so I always talk and laugh with my clients, and I always remind them of how absolutely amazing they look. This also means my post production I have a very specific flow on how I do things, exposure is usually my very first step, any cropping, zooming into 100% to make sure I got my focus where I want it. I do all of my I guess, Lightroom work in the camera RAW program with photoshop! Everything else, I just always remember to have layers so I don't have to start over, and I also make sure to save both in JPEG and the PSD format just in case. Work on your confidence, practice daily even with teddy bears, start small if you have to, and remember this is YOUR work, what matters is your happiness with it. Art is so subjective, and I believe that we all question our skill... PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!, and I also recommend having some sort of lighting even if its just a few LED lights for now, you can make it work. You are amazing, You are artistic and you have a passion, follow it, and it will lead you to where are meant to be. Also I am always someone who loves to chat so message me and we can talk to! Good luck! Remember you are awesome.

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