Beyond the 60th Sense #2 : Tammy: Motherhood Beyond Life

"Beyond the 60th Sense. Tammy: Motherhood Beyond Life." (Story will be posted in 3 parts). ❤
======= Sometimes overcooking is burning a delightful meal that was already good from the beginning.
For the past 3 days, since I had this very intimate session with Tammy, I’ve been looking for an ideal narrative; something that would do justice to her story. Since then, I’ve been facing a blockage, a wall full of bricks that would frustrate me and make me end up with an “I will work on it again, tomorrow.” It was only today that something clicked and everything made sense. Writing isn’t about telling a beautiful story; it’s about telling a story; telling it like it is; staying true to its purpose, and let you, the reader, with the decision of liking it or not. With that in mind, I introduce you to Tammy Linn. Tammy and I first met during the production of my session with the cast of Hamilton. Because my tiny studio would not be large enough to fit the entire cast, Bill (Linn, her husband) and Tammy, without thinking twice, offered me their just-inaugurated space to produce my session. “And how much would that be, Guys?” I remember asking. “Don’t worry about it, Kid. Do your thing, and we talk about cost later,” They friendly replied. That “later” would never come. And this example paints pretty well how Tammy and Bill are: that humble, that generous, that passionate about their work and friends. During the session, the love Tammy and Bill have for photography and life, in general, was instantaneously contagious and made me and my crew feel like we knew them forever. Their upbeat spirits simply light up the room wherever they are, and their personality made me decide that I just had to have Tammy’s picture as part of "Beyond the 60th Sense," in spite of the fact that she isn't over 60s.
Not surprisingly, it came to me as a shock to learn that Tammy, Bill, and their son, Jeff, had been battling with Jeff’s bipolar disorder for a long time. Sadly, after years fighting such darkness, the evil illness won, and Jeff took his own life two weeks after our session at the Linn's studio.
I’ve been staring at the popcorn ceiling of my 1511-SW-Park-Avenue apartment for the past 20 minutes. I like to think that as a photographer and journalist, I must try to put myself in my subject shoes and imagine how they feel, to convey a more vivid report. In this case, I just can’t. I literally can’t image the pain that a mother goes through by seeing her, as quoted from the bible, “own image,” succumbing while holding him in her arms. No mother should go through such pain, and I believe that the images I captured of Tammy sum the fragility and the raw bravery of Hers, all together. Listen, I am a short guy, 5.8 (5.10 when trying to impress someone). Often times, I have to, pathetically, beg my subjects to open their legs or have to use dozens of apple boxes to get to their level. Tammy, however, is likely the most petit human I ever met, being roughly ¾ of my height. Luckily, bravery isn’t measured by heights, and those deep crystal eyes; the silver waived hair; the gracefulness; the bravery, and the strength she presented upon such a tragedy make Tammy look like bigger than the Everest.
Tammy and Bill have been trying to bring something positive from the tragic passing of his son: “My son was less about suicide and more about mental illness. We will never hide behind my son being sick and if we can help one kid or family battle this horrible Disease then my sons legacy is kept alive.” Says Bill. “Jeff is my everything, I’ll love him till the end of my days when I can once again hold him in my arms and marvel at the wings that grace his feet.” Tammy shared with me during our session. “Wednesdays have been tough, and I’m glad you could make me smile a little this week.” Only after our encounter, I learned that Jeff passed on a Wednesday, same day of the week Tammy decided to have this session done.

____ In memory of Jeff Linn. ❤ ------
If anyone you know is struggling with bipolarity disorder, please, visit https:--namior.org
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“A study done by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in 2014 stated that suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.” If you know somebody with suicidal thoughts, please, advise them to call a suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255
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