Stealthy scavengers

Ornithologists will tell you that seagulls are not seabirds, as they are also encountered in urban environments. They will also tell you that that the word “seagull” is unknown to science and that the correct term is “gull” (the former is merely a conventional one). Gulls do haunt coastal areas, piers and harbours, where people abound. Where people are, there is food and where food is gulls will go to, because they are not fussy: they will feast on anything that can go down their digestive tract. So, when you ramble along the shore or pier eating a sandwich or ice cream, remember it is important to get wind of the infamous wailing and squawking and glance over your shoulder. Failing that, they might swoop down upon you and claim your delicacy.

I sat on a bollard and unwrapped the beef burger I had just bought. Next to me, another photo-fanatic geezer had put his equipment aside and was gorging himself with a gigantic baguette. The way he was gulping and slurping his Coca Cola from straw told me he would never be popular at Eton mess. Out of the blue, the two invaders landed only yards away. They docked themselves so stealthily and silently I could still hear his gulping. They kept cheekily looking, looking away and looking again, but I held my burger so tightly they didn’t fancy their chances. I carefully put it away and grabbed the camera. They stayed long enough for a shot or two and then took flight to take their chances elsewhere.

Another colony flew past the docks and several decibels of wailing and squawking resonated across the harbour. It was music to my ears. I could no longer hear his slurping and gulping.
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