little friend

Today was not the easiest of days. The past weighed heavily on me today, and in response I chose to hike it out. Starting the day with a summit of mount emory, the highest peak the park had to offer. About a mile from the top I ran into a black mamma bear and her cub, almost literally. I Was looking at the rocks beneath my feet and heard a loud rock slide, looking up to be no more than ten yards away from them. She recompossed herself and looked directly into my eyes (don't do that XD), she took one step towards me and I began to back step, averted my eyes from hers to not come off as an aggressor and backed myself away from her until I felt comfortable to turn and fast walk away while keeping an eye on her. She followed me down the main path for at least half a mile, until I got out of line of sight of her, and noped the frick out. The excitement got my mind off of what had been getting me down all morning, but it was now about two hours from sunset and I found myself alone again. One of the rangers had suggested the window trail at sunset, and figuring that it was my last night in the park, this was my last chance. I was hesitant to start the hike. Part of me wanted to give into the feeling of sadness that had been staying with me all day, and “forget” about it. I had found out that my campsite did have a usable wireless connection, and I had noticed six packs of beer at the store that closed in thirty minutes. I told myself that I wouldn't rely on my phone to occupy myself for long periods of time, and I had promised myself I wouldn't drink alone, but in that moment it was so easy. One time wouldn't hurt, and I ‘m tired, I’m not tired physically, but I’m tired of trying. I'm tired of trying to be that kind stranger, I’m tired of actively trying to not think about the thing I know I shouldn't be thinking about. It has only been a few days and I was angry that I was already tired. But that’s the point, nothing will ever change when you're comfortable, and so I started down the trail, and not long after I did, I was greeted with this little guy :). His placement there, just as I was happening to pass, gave me a moment of joy for whatever reason. It wasn't some grand moment, It was just a little thing.


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