212 steps

These guides come handy now and again, don't they?

- “That will be £6.00, Sir!”
- “Deal!”

He warned me we were about to go up very steep, narrow and confined staircases and advised that the ascend is not recommended to claustrophobics. Do I look like I give a shit, I thought (but didn’t say). If my heart packs up, he can give the golden coin to the Ferryman for passage to darkness and let the church look after my body. Either way, in these premises I should be safe in one form or the other. I asked him if I could lift the flag-pole upon reaching the top. He smiled and said no, but continued that I would receive an overview of the bell and clock tower and even be allowed to chime the bell. Oh yes! I will ring them so hard, the buskers down the yard will jump like kangaroos. Just as we were about to start, he asked me if he could check my bag for security purposes.

- “Crack on, son!”

Why did he even bother asking me that? He knew exactly what was in the bag...

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