Disappointing Self-talk
Oct, 2020Views
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Behind The Lens
Location
I took this photo in my friend's bedroom, the girl modeling.Time
This was a last-minute photo shoot and turned out to be my favorite picture from the series. I was shooting this series on mental health for a class project, my friend was supposed to model for a similar picture the weekend before but ended up canceling. We took this picture the following weekend during a cookout, around 4 or 5 pm before other guests started to arrive.Lighting
Nothing special with the lighting, this picture was taken before I owned any sort of lighting equipment. I just wanted the picture to seem natural but since the theme was dealing with depression and anxiety I wanted it to be somewhat dark.Equipment
I shot this picture with my Sony a7ii with the kit lens. I then used photoshop to layer multiple images together.Inspiration
The idea to focus on mental health originates from my struggles with mental health, which started when I was in my teens. It is not something I spoke about much because it was difficult to explain to other people. The first question many people ask is “well, what’s wrong?” I never knew how to answer this question because there was not anything wrong in my life. It was not until my 30th birthday that things took a turn for the worse and all those years of ignoring my mental health caught up to me. I was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, which was a shock for everyone around me. Through this experience I learned a lot more about depression and anxiety, I learned that many of the symptoms can be overlooked or contributed to minor personality quirks. Since then I have been wanting to work on a project that explored mental health in a way that I could show how the symptoms can feel and look so that people know what to look for. If I or anyone around me would have known that some of the actions that were just attributed to my personality were actually symptoms of depression, I would have been able to receive help so much sooner. The project started out with self-portraits, but I'm really not the best model so I asked my friend for help. She quickly agreed and we worked together to come up with an idea that would visually express the way she felt. What I enjoyed most about this photo was seeing the freeing of emotion, this photo gave my friend a way to express herself in a way she couldn't with words and share these feelings with her friends and family.Editing
This picture is more of a composite image, I used photoshop to layer the pictures together. I started by taking multiple pictures of my friend in different areas. First sitting on the floor, then another picture of her laying on the bed staring at the spot where she had sat on the floor, then a final image of her on the foot of the bed leaning in towards the spot she had sat on the floor. I then layered the images on top of each other and used layer masks to reveal the model on the lower layers.In my camera bag
The equipment I carry depends on where I am heading! For a hike, I grab my Sony a7ii and for most other shoots I grab my Sony a7riii. I always have at least one extra battery, some extra film (SD cards), a few lens filters (variable ND, circular polarizer), and my tripod. I will also carry around my Lensbaby Velvet 85mm and Burnside 35mm lenses just in case I'm feeling extra creative. Oh, I also carry a Lume Cube everywhere I go, I typically shoot using natural light but you never know when you need a flashlight.Feedback
It is difficult to give advice with something so subjective, I would just say do what feels right. Don't get bogged down by all the hypotheticals, nerves, or "rules" and just shoot from your heart. Don't let a change in plans throw you off, don't be afraid to improvise, this picture's theme and the concept was planned but when it came to the shoot we just ended up improvising. I would say for something like this image, watch Photoshop tutorials, and learn how to work in layers. Trying to think in layers can be difficult but you have to be thinking in terms of layers while shooting the images. Oh, I would also recommend a tripod, it's a must for a photo like this because you want the camera to be locked in one place while you repose your model between pictures, you want to maintain a consistent perspective between each photo.
